Sunday, April 06, 2008

I wasn't really using that ovary anyhow

It's been another long gap since I've posted. What a couple of weeks I have had.

It started on Wed the 26th. I'd just returned to work from a nice relaxing long weekend, spending some great quality time with my kids and husband during their spring break. I was a little behind at work, but it was all things that I could easily catch up on.

Wednesday night I started to have some pain in my lower left side. Sharp pain. Annoying. Getting sharper. Erik asked if I needed to go the emergency room. I didn't want to go and sit all night in the e/r to have them tell me I had gas and just needed to fart. So I went to bed.

So Thursday I woke up and the pain is still there, still quite sharp and definitely still in exactly the same place. I went to work and suffered through my morning appointments until I could get in to see my doctor after lunch.

The doctor ordered an ultrasound, but they couldn't do that until 5, so I went home and tried to sleep. And drink water - you have to have a full bladder to do the ultrasound. No fun to have a full bladder when someone is pushing down on you with a metal wand thingy.

The ultrasound took about an hour - I had three different ones done and in the end it turned out I had an ovarian cyst. The doctor sent me home with some presription strength Alleve and told me it'd either rupture or shrink on its own within a few days.

By Friday night the Alleve wasn't doing a damn thing anymore, so my dear friend who just had an ovarian cyst gave me some Darvocet to get through the weekend. I called first thing on Monday to get #1 a follow up with my gyn and #2 a stronger painkiller.

I couldn't see the gyn until Tuesday afternoon. I spend Monday night crying on the bathroom floor in so much pain that I was literally shaking, sweating, crying, puking... It was awful. I somehow made it through the night and work the next morning. I even went to court. Crazy. I don't know how I did it.

Anyway, Tuesday afternoon the gyn says the decision is really up to me. We can wait and see or he can do follow up imaging or we can talk about surgery. Now, after the horrible Monday night bathroom floor incident, I'm actually feeling better. We think maybe the cyst ruptured so we decide to wait and see.

Wednesday into Thursday I feel better. Thursday night? I start to feel worse... and worse... I call the gyn first thing Friday morning and they set up an appointment for me at 12:45. By mid-morning I am in so much pain I asked Erik to drive me to the doctor, because I had to take a double dose of Lortab just to be able to walk.

The drive from the house to the doctor and then walking from the van to the office did me in. I collapsed on the waiting room couch in the doctor's office crying, shaking, sweating, etc. I was in too much pain to even be embarrassed at that point.

They get me into a room and I just lay down on the table while Erik rubs my neck. I was just breathing, trying to not scream and wail in the office. They doctor comes in and gives me some options. He can send me home with a strong painkiller, he can admit me for IV pain medicine and wait until tomorrow morning to re-image, or he can try to get me in for surgery asap.

I told him I'd been doing the wait and see for TEN DAYS and it wasn't getting better and I wanted the mother fucker out. He called down to admissions, scheduled the surgery and shortly thereafter I was being wheeled downstairs to the hospital.

During all this, Erik is making the phone calls - my parents to get the kids, gotta cancel my wax appointment, gotta find a replacement presenter for the luncheon tomorrow, gotta call the office, etc. etc.

Once in the hospital, I finally got hooked up to an IV with some decent pain relief. I slept for most of the afternoon until it was time for my surgery. I didn't really get nervous until I was in the pre-op room and the anesthesia doctor and all the nurses started prepping me. Then it all sorta hit me.

But by then the happy stuff was being administered and I was out.

So. Here's what happened - the doctor went in to remove the cyst and found multiple cysts behind the one they saw on the ultrasound. He had to remove the whole ovary and the tube. I knew that was a possibility so I wasn't too upset about that.

He also had to remove my IUD in order to do the surgery, which was okay because my husband's stupid insurance won't pay for the removal of the device. So that saved me $150 office visit.

But it did make me feel quite awful for Erik - because looking back now he really didn't have to get the vasectomy after all. They could have done a tubal ligation on the other tube while they were in doing the surgery. Um, ooooops. Sorry, Erik - you have no idea how much guilt I am having on that issue right now.

They released me the same night, which was nice - I got to sleep in my own bed and use my own shower. Yesterday I was really sore and uncomfortable, but this morning I am feeling much better. Still sore, of course, but it's just SO nice not to have the constant burning sharp pain I had before. And I have some very nice post-op narcotics that are making this much easier.

I am supposed to be off work for a week, but I just don't see that happening. Unfortunately I have the type of job that nobody else in my office can completely cover. I am planning on staying home Monday, then easing back in Tuesday, just answering messages and mail for a few hours each day, maybe working on some files at home.

It's been quite an adventure. Now that it is over I am starting to be upset about it. I mean, I am done having kids but still - it feels weird that they removed an entire ovary. Does this make me half the woman I used to be?

I mean, I know it doesn't, but these are the thoughts I have falling asleep on high doses of narctorics....


At 4/06/2008 8:42 PM, Blogger J.M. Tewkesbury said...

I think feeling a bit mournful about this is natural. Even though you hadn't planned to have more kids, it never occurred to you, I'm sure, that you might not have a choice in the matter. That could be part of your feelings, too.

I don't know. More importantly, though, hope you're on the mend and feeling better soon!

At 4/07/2008 10:17 PM, Anonymous jen said...

Take care of yourself, I wish you a speedy recovery!


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