The occasional bout of Post-Mormon anger
For the most part, I would consider myself recovered from being Mormon. But - there is the occasional moment of total unbridled anger. I had one on Sunday when I heard this piece of crap was read during church:
"We are informed that the United States Senate will on June 6, 2006, vote on an amendment to the Federal constitution designed to protect the traditional institution of marriage.
We, as the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, have repeatedly set forth our position that the marriage of a man and a woman is the only acceptable marriage relationship.
In 1995 we issued a Proclamation to the World on this matter, and have repeatedly reaffirmed that position.
In that proclamation we said: 'We call upon responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society.'
We urge our members to express themselves on this urgent matter to their elected representatives in the Senate. "
When I read this, I was almost really sad I didn't go to church any more. Because I would have really really liked to get up and walk out after hearing that. Other than the LDS church's horrid treatment of women, their treatment of homosexuals was the biggest struggle I had while I attended. It caused me so much heartache - constantly wondering why deep down in my soul I so firmly believed in the equal treatment of gays and lesbians, while also constantly being told by the prophet said *I* was wrong to feel this way. Watching how they destroyed the people in my life who supposedly "suffered" from this "problem". Telling me how "proud" I was to disagree with the "brethren".
Fuck them all. It is not homosexuals that are destroying the institution of marriage. I do divorces for a living - trust me, the heterosexual couples out there are doing that just fine on their own. How dare some so-called christian republican senator who has been banging his young interns on the side get up and talk to me about the sanctity of marriage.
Hell, if we REALLY want to back to the original purposes of marriage, let's go ahead and make it what it really was in the good ol' days... a fucking CONTRACT between MEN for the exchange of property (WOMEN) for titles, lands, dowries, to secure an heir, for political alliances, etc. And don't forget... Let's lynch anybody who dares to cross racial lines too. That was the way marriage used to be and wow, it's even supported by the Bible. Ugh!
And seriously, how can the LDS church actually say with a straight face that they have repeatedly supported the idea the only acceptable marriage is between a man and a woman - um HELLO!! Polygamy?! Jesus H. Christ, for years and years and years, the LDS church preached AGAINST monogamy as unnatural, and impure, and sure to mean the end of society. Fucking hypocrites.
If two people of the same gender want to make a commitment to each other and love each other and build a life and a family together, who am I to say that is any less valid than the commitment between me and my husband? EVERYONE deserves a life of passion and love and to build a home with a person that makes their heart skip a beat. EVERYONE.
19 Comments:
Amen sister. You took the words out of my mouth.
Oops, that was me!
Yet again, you are my twin in soooo many ways! I also struggled with this as a member. It was something I could never reconcile and one of the main reasons I left.
Being here in Britain where same sex marriage has been legalized, I haven't noticed that the fabric of society is crumbling...that my marriage (or anyone elses) is under threat, nor is that of the "family". Actually, no one really talks about it. It just is. Of course, the government here isn't bullied by religious conservatives. They seem to take the seperation of church and state more seriously here than we do in the US. Ironic, huh?!
Anyway, excellent rant! I'm right there with ya, Sistah!
Oh...and I agree about divorce...Speaking as the daughter of an attorney who saw and heard about this alot growing up, I think the really "threat to the family" has been the no-contest divorce.
Amen and Amen! As soon as I have the time, I have a blisteringly sarcastic blog post to put up on this same topic. For now, I will just use your rant vicariously and cathartically.
Brava! Let me add to the kudos. I am writing some blistering letters to my senators (one of whom is TBM and--even worse--a shirttail relative) before the vote goes down.
Thank you for your post.
The other day I watched a program on foster children and we have so many in our system and no one wants the older kids and no one wants to spend the time to help these kids... except those sinful gays. And the great state of Indiana where I live is trying to make it illegal for same sex couples to get foster children. This disgusts me. So yeah, let's actually make it harder for stable couples to foster children who need it.
Plus I can't reconcile "the church" and gays while watching my oldest niece grow up gay and mormon. Now we are both out. (hey I kinda made a pun).
From another ex-mo: I couldn't have said it better myself. The hypocrisy is staggering.
Very best site. Keep working. Will return in the near future.
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Behold married gay parents adopting children and forming sacred bonds in innocence and persecution, often greater than ours.
Behold the monstrous flocks soaked in their fears and prejudices.
Behold authentic Compassion, alone and distant but invincible.
May we each find the gall to urge every being toward her always, even the revered and powerful.
Maybe angels should deliver God’s laws directly rather than through incredible mean papers and blind faith. That way if gay couples still got married, for example, God wouldn’t bear so much of the responsibility for their families ending.
It helps to know what is “central to the Creator’s plan,” but why would President Hinckley proclaim that so many families like mine are not “the” family?
Did he ever indicate any reluctance to align your stance with that of the bigots?
Given how the LDS Church guides us to treat other beings as a whole, HOW COULD ANY FURTHER INFORMATION lead a sensitive person to conclude that the Church is true and not evil?
If God casts me out for not taking “His side” against non-conforming families, He’ll know not to make more hearts like mine.
If you justify something with “because it works in my life,” remember that this will never right a wrong against someone you hurt or should have tried to help. Beware this shabby excuse, and steer toward Compassion if you can.
If you thought this were true, I believe you would ask Heavenly Father to seal each loving parent with each loved child. You are not a monster, just a person who has been guided well to avoid caring thus far.
I have come to perceive Mormonism as a system of behavior that brings to bear enormous pressure to conform, more than as any authentic system of belief. They deserve our pity more than our anger. I think that what they need is an invitation to begin a life of greater compassion. This does not necessarily require that they leave their cozy culture, however. Only that they gently try to change it into something more compassionate.
The above six comments were mine, and I have one more ...
What do you admire most about Jesus?
Lots of people first pay lip service to selflessness and then tell you to do whatever it might take to save yourselves.
Are our garbage-families worth risking or sacrificing something, or shall we just dump them out of our hearts quietly to avoid any possible loss of favor?
(... and you might consider just planting these "as a seed" they will promise to think as well as pray about, rather than expecting a real answer ... and following up with a caring interaction ... these are my suggestions)
Gay marriages are none of our business.
One solution to "what is marriage?" and "who can you marry?" is to stop having government "marriages", but rather allow two consenting adults freely to enter into one legal domestic partnership at a time - a legal contract. In this scenario marriage vows would be left as a private (religious) matter. The government has no business defining marriage - it's a religious decision.
I have given polygamy and polyandry a lot of thought. Morally I am not against these arrangements. BUT, I do not like the burden all the polygamous (& monogamous) families' kids put on the tax system for their educations, health, and welfare. People should only be allowed to deduct 1 child per adult from their income taxes. In addition, health insurance costs should be increased for the 3rd+ children in a domestic partnership. However, should people with many children put money into education & health accounts for their children, all that money should be tax deductible.
In short, the government has no business in our personal lives, and people should pay for their contribution to the over-population of the planet.
I know there will be stupid people who can't stop making babies and won't be able to pay for them. This issue needs to be addressed. If the State is asked to pay for poor children, then the state has a huge say in how they are raised.
Interesting ideas. I am a lapsed Catholic considering mormonism as a faith.... -
A pal of mine recently married a Mormon widow. -- Soon afterward, he overheard his wife talking to a Mormon friend once, and found out she was "sealed" in marriage, (by proxy ) in the Mormon Temple, after her late husband died, but before they (my pal, and his mormon widow wife) married.
He found the "Mormon proxy marriage sealing" ritual on-line, and it states the spouse pledges "marriage for all time and eternity" to the dead spouse. That the sealed spouses are "eternal companions" by this "proxy marriage ceremony". --
He (my pal) asked her to ask this marriage be canceled, as he does not understand how she can be his wife, yet be married for all time and eternity to someone else. -- She states she can't tell him that she will abandon this eternal marriage to her dead spouse, even though she is married to him.
I wonder, should this hurt his feelings, to cause mistrust ? She has the right to a past and love for her deceased husband, but I don't think she shows a full commitment to him by staying eternally married and sealed to another man... ---- RSVP -- The Dude.. GlaLib9427@aol.com
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