Saturday, July 30, 2005

Coming clean

Well I finally sat down and came clean with my parents. We have had many talks over the past several months about my issues, so nothing I said came as a surprise to them. But still - it was very nice just to come out and say, "I no longer believe in this church." It was much more peaceful than I thought.

My father was very quiet, and said only that he hoped it would not change our relationship. I told him it certainly would not, as long as we didn't let it. My mother was more inquisitive, asking about if we would find another church. She actually suggested I try the Unitarian church, which I thought says quite a bit about her.

My mother introduced me to the writings of Emerson and Thoreau when I was about 14 or 15 - she sat me down and made me read Emerson's essay on Self-Reliance before I started high school. She also made me read every issue of the Exponent II over the years. I love my mother and admire her more than any other woman I know. She openly acknowledged that she knew I was questioning because she raised me to question, so she would never condemn me for that.

At the end of our conversation, my mother told me that there were times that she was so angry at church that she got up and walked out of meetings. She also confided in me that there were many parts of the church that she did not believe, but that she continues to look for the good parts. Then she added that she understands completely that I cannot do that, because of how I am, and she respects that.

As with so so many things, I dreaded the experience but it wasn't nearly as bad as I imagined. I certainly feel better now that it is all out in the open. Next step is a meeting with bishop and telling my siblings...

9 Comments:

At 7/30/2005 10:48 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Came accross your site by accident. I can understand why you feel disillusioned with the church you are attending. They do not have truth. I would recommend going to this web site and searching out the materials there at "gty.org". Its a start. If you are sincere about your search you will go.

I will be praying for you. For remember Psalm 14:1.....

 
At 7/30/2005 11:55 AM, Blogger clew said...

Hi there - I also just wandered in. I wanted to leave a note because I too left my church and searched various theologies for many years. I now belong to a Vineyard church - you might want to see if theres one in your area. They ditch all the dogma and simply get down to scripture. There's no abuse of power or twisting of meanings. I only make a specific suggestion of a denomination to look at because I know to just jump into looking can be overwhelming. But ultimately the search and descision are up to you and I wish you the best in finding a faith that you feel comfortable with. Best of luck!

 
At 7/30/2005 12:41 PM, Blogger Trail Seeker said...

The mishies of the world come to your door awful quick looking to save your soul. I am sure they mean well. I am so glad your parents took it so well and were supportive, It says alot about them. Other's don't fair so well.

 
At 8/01/2005 8:20 PM, Blogger clew said...

Hm, if the mishie comment was directed at me, I apologize if I came across that way. Just trying to help. :(

Good luck wherever your path leads you.

 
At 8/10/2005 7:08 AM, Blogger Chris Tolworthy said...

Sounds like you have great parents. Congratulations on taking such a big, scary, but important step. Maybe we should print you a certificate like they do for "major" events at church. :)

 
At 8/13/2005 5:01 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Amy, this is Ros (aka natural man) What you and Erik have done is very brave. We've done the same with a little different response. Christine's parent are far more narrow minded. But I want you to know that we are sooooo proud of you and wish the very best for you and Erik !!!!!!!

 
At 8/16/2005 4:57 PM, Blogger Jacob Primo said...

As a former mormon myself I think I can appreciate what you've written. It's a fun journey, enjoy it.

 
At 3/30/2006 5:05 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sounds like your mom might be NOM. Found your blog through Infymus's Mormon Curtain. I like it and am adding it to my blogroll. Poi Dog Pondering is a band I have not heard since college.

 
At 8/16/2006 4:16 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I like it! Keep up the good work. Thanks for sharing this wonderful site with us.
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