Hope
One of the most difficult things about losing my faith was the loss of hope that came with it.
Today my husband discovered that a mother bird built her nest in the lavender wreath I hung on the front door last week to celebrate the arrival of Spring.
I can't tell you exactly why, but this gives me hope. Somehow, we really are all connected.
11 Comments:
The loss of hope has been a significant ongoing challenge for me as well. The little glimpses of hope come in small ways, as you note. I recently felt one of these on the tram on the way to work one morning. A woman with two small children - one still in a pram - was sitting next to me, and a quite old lady was sitting kitty-corner to us. Even though they spoke German and I don't (very well), and they were both mothers and I am not, we connected for several minutes and enjoyed the babies and each other's company as random strangers. For some reason, that really boosts me up.
How beautiful! Hope has been elusive for me as well, but I am glad to hear that you have had hope-filled moments lately.
I hope you are feeling better and that you haven't fainted lately. :)
You said you lost your faith - did you ever even try to have any? Sleeping around and being a drunk bum as a single woman doesnt really sound like someone trying to have any faith.
anonymous -
First - I am just not quite sure how being completely faithful to one person (both before and after we got married) for the past 13 years translates into "sleeping around".
Second - Drunk, occasionally. Bum, never. And as a single person, also never.
Third - anyone who does hit and run comments anonymously is a complete and total chickenshit.
Lemon Blossom,
I hope things turn out well for you also. I have no feelings either way about if you leave the church or not. That is entirely up to you.
In that vain, you should realize that your husband is using the same methods to manipulate you that he claims the church used on him (and you).
Like I said, it is your decision, and I have no stake in what your ultimate path will be. Just make it for yourself... on your own terms. Not for or because of what anyone else says or does.
A friend
Liseymom - beautiful post.
If I haven't done it already, mind if I add you to my blog roll?
Color me embarrassed - I already had you added!
a friend,
You committed an ironic misspelling. "In that vain..." -- the correct term is "in that vein," as in a vein of ore in the earth. However, you are acting in vain. You're very transparent, and you will not succeed in wedging yourself inbetween LB and me, though the attempt is noted.
What I don't understand is why you're attacking us. Does it make you feel better? Do you feel that you're acting as some sort of agent of your polygamous god, punishing the unfaithful? I'll bet you're probably the same person attacking other people like C. Hanson and, here, Liseysmom. Hiding in anonymity and false accounts, then calling others cowards.
Nice.
Cool! Are you going to close your front door until the chicks leave the nest?
It's worth the trouble. I remember when my parents lifted me up to see the eggs and later the chicks.
sideon - I need to update my blog roll as well. It's woefully short.
hellmut - we very rarely use our front door. All our family and friends use the garage door, so it's no problem to temporarily call that door with the next off limits.
Interconnectedness? Good God, you sound like a Buddhist!
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