Passed out in the bathroom

I woke up Friday morning feeling like maybe I had a migraine coming on. I went ahead and took my migraine medication, then made my way to court. The weather was horrible - it was raining ice pellets. My boss's mother passed away on Tuesday, and the funeral was that morning, so I was in court covering his back to back cases.

So it's not even 9:30, I've only been there about 15 minutes, and I'm in the hallway talking to another attorney. All of a sudden I feel my stomach start to turn and my ears start sort of buzzing. And I'm feeling the blood draining from my head. I tell the other attorney, I'm so sorry, I have a pretty bad migraine I'm fighting and excuse myself. I made it to the bathroom, and that's about what I remember.

The next thing I know is coming to on the bathroom floor and thinking, "Shiiiiiit, did that just happen?!" And then my next thought is "Oh my god, my head hurts." And then I start to pick myself up off the floor and I'm suddenly not sure what to do. Do I go back out and say, "Hey judge, I just passed out in your bathroom, can we reschedule these cases?" when I have three sets of clients and two different attorneys all waiting and having come to the courthouse in this awful weather?

I got up and brushed myself off and splashed some water on my face. I walked back out and the other attorney said, "Wow, you are really pale. Are you SURE you're okay?" And I knew at that moment if I told him what had just happened, there would be a big fuss and ambulances called and I couldn't even stand the thought of EVERYONE knowing I just passed out in the courthouse bathroom.

So I told him, "I just need to sit down, I think." And I went on with my morning. And was in court, with very probably a concussion, dealing with the three sets of clients and various attorneys until well after 1:30.

The truth is, my desire to stay and take care of all these cases was really not dedication to work, but my absolute horrror at the thought of anyone knowing what had just happened. I mean, I was mostly just so grateful after I made it home that #1 I made it to the bathroom (rather than passing out in the main hallway in front of 100 people, half of whom I knew) and #2 nobody walked in on me passed out on the floor (can you imagine THOSE rumors?!)

Today my head is still pretty sore where I landed on it. I have done nothing today except laundry (I really do love having clean sheets and towels) and take a shower and sleep off and on. Erik took the kids to Bob Evans and brought me home dinner.

The actual fainting doesn't really bother me - I've been doing that off and on for years. But I hate doing it in public. It never seems to happen when I'm at home. I've passed out during a band concert (while I was on the stage), and while taking a computer science final (I got an A before I passed out), and at the SLC airport waiting to board a plane (yes, I missed my flight), and at a wedding (not my own) and in the bathroom at Tyson's Corner mall in Virginia.

So whenever it happens, I then start with the paranoia that next time it will happen when I have my kids with me and they will never recover from the sight of their mother falling down unconscious, or that perhaps someday I'll hit my head on the corner of the sink and die all alone on a bathroom floor in a McDonald's.