Sometimes I don't like being right all the time
Over the past several months, Erik and I have often had this conversation:
Me: "I swear it looks like her right eye is crossing in. Don't you see it?"
Erik: "No, I think you are just imagining it. I don't notice anything at all."
Please note exhibit A, to your right, as evidence in support of the fact that I AM ALWAYS RIGHT.
But I'm not happy being right about this. I took her to the eye doctor today and it turns out she is not only far sighted, but much much more far sighted in the right eye. Hence the right eye crossing in, as it has been getting weaker over time.
The doctor gave me a pair of lenses to show me how the world looks to her - I wanted to cry. How could I be her mother and be with her every day and not know she couldn't see clearly??
She picked her frames - they are Barbie pink frames with gold butterflies on the sides. They are adorable and will be ready by Friday. We are trying to get her excited about this - we had her call all the grandparents and tell them this exciting news.
But still - in the pit of my stomach that mom-guilt knot. For having absolutely no idea her world has been blurry? For having bad genetics that skipped me but hit her (Erik and I both have perfect vision)? For being pissed off that I have to pay $225 for a pair of glasses and not really sure where in the budget that is going to come from at the moment? I'm not sure for what exactly. I suppose that's how mom-guilt works - when something unexpected and not pleasant happens to our children, we simply feel guilty that we couldn't see it coming and couldn't stop it from happening.
7 Comments:
Mom guilt is the worst, and nothing anyone says will change that-- however, she didn't know how poor her vision was. I didn't get glasses until middle school, and up until that point, I had NO idea that other people were seeing things differently than I was. My point is that she doesn't blame you, because she didn't know any different, and that should alleviate a teeny bit of guilt. And, the thing that I think should erase a LOT of that guilt completely is the fact that as SOON as you knew of the problem, you did something to fix it! That's what a good mom does, and that's exactly what you did.
I hope she loves her new pink Barbie glasses. I wonder if they make them in grown up sizes? And I wonder if I could get away with wearing them! :)
Hey -
I wore an eyepatch at 3 and had glasses around the same time for a very similar reason. The good news is that I have to tell my eye doctor(s) that I had strabismus although I was really far sighted.
The good news is the earlier they catch this (and she's pretty young, right?) - the easier it is to correct.
It reads to me like you are doing a pretty terrific job at the mom thing! You knew something wasn't quite right, you followed your gut, and you are on the path to getting it taken care of. If we could predict everything and tackle it before it happened, what reason would we have to get up each morning. Life is for living - it is what really happens while we are busy making plans.
You don't need no stinking guilt, you are doing everything you can with the best of intentions and with everyone's best interests at heart. That is what being a parent is all about!
Come visit Devra and I at parentopia.net and you can see we are all in this together. By the way, Devra and I have a goal to absolve guilt...One mommy at a time. Today it's you!
Don't feel bad! I didn't get my glasses until I was in 5th grade, and the only reason I did was because I went from straight A's to C's and D's and the teacher, at the parent teacher conference, told my mom that I just wasn't smart enough to get it. What was the difference? I used to sit in the front of the class, and this time I was sitting in the back (I'm near sighted, so I could no longer read the chalkboard). I remember VIVIDLY when I first put the glasses on-- it was amazing. I never knew you could actually make out individual LEAVES on the trees. I thought everyone had the same vision as me... yeah, except I was pretty much blind. oops. I don't think my mom did anything wrong by not magically knowing... and it didn't take someone else telling you that your kid is dumb (especially when you know she's not) to figure it out. :)
Thank you thank thank you for all the comments. I feel much better today. I will be sure to post better pictures of Lisey when she gets her new glasses on Friday.
Oh, bless her heart - those glasses look absolutely darling on Lisey!! What a doll. :-) It's so great that you found out so early that her eyesight needed correction.
And I *truly* understand the title of your post, and I *truly* agree.
My daughter has one bad eye too. I was horrified when she got her glasses and they made one eye look bigger than the other. Now she just wears one contact in the bad eye and it works great for her.
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