Wry Interviews Me

I asked Wry Catcher to interview me - here's her questions!

1. What is the trait or personality aspect you’re most happy to have gotten from your mom/dad/family of origin? What one thing do you really wish you could get rid of?

I am most happy to have gotten my family's smarts. My parents were very big on education, not just school-wise, but cultural literacy too. History, music, art, literature, math, science... It was important to my parents that we grow up to be well rounded. I really do come from a family of nerds. We used to sit around and do logic problems for fun on vacation.

The one thing that come along with it, and that I have passed on to Marc (unfortunately) was a drive to succeed at everything. I would be devastated to get a B on any test, no matter how unimportant. I had to be the first one done an exam. I had to have the highest score on a paper. I wanted to be first chair in the band. I had to have the lead in the play. As I grew older, I found it difficult to try new things - if anything was a struggle and I wasn't the best at it, I'd just give up. I am making a very conscious effort to mediate that tendency in my son. I can see now that it is, at its root, hard-wired.

2. When you first started dating ExV, what kinds of reactions did you get? How did you feel about it then? What do you think about it all now?

When ExV and I started dating, he was 17 and still in high school. I was 21 and working in the office at the high school (different department, my office was just located in that building). The reactions were completely and totally disapproving. My friends thought he was too young and too much a slacker. I even had someone use the words, "not good enough for you at all". Plus he wasn't LDS, so church people didn't like him either.

His family and some of his friends thought I was too old, that he'd miss his whole youth because I was tying him down too young. Plus I was LDS, so I was trying to suck him into my cult.

I think even we, at the beginning, thought of it as a fling - something to bide time until I left for law school and he left for college. Then we ended up changing our schools so we could stay closer to each other. His mother tried to break us up many times. She was NOT happy when we got married "so young" - he was 21 and still had a year left of college.

Sometimes I think, wow, we WERE young. Especially Erik. I'd probably flip a little bit if my kids wanted to get married while still in college. But I'm glad we were naive enough not to know any better. I knew that Erik was nice. I knew that he was funny, and romantic, and loved kids and loved cats. That's why I wanted in my life. I knew he'd eventually get older but he'd always be a great guy. I didn't want to let him get away.

3. What are the top three reasons you’re glad your daughter and son won’t be raised mormon?

a. They will not be taught outdated one size fits all gender roles.

b. They will be raised with a healthy view of human sexuality and without irrational guilt over normal desires and urges.

c. They will learn to think for themselves and stand on their own feet without relying on geriatric man platitudes.

4. How does pole dancing (as a hobby not a job, LOL) make you feel? What has it changed about how you see yourself? Same for your tattoo? Will you get more? Is there anything else you still want to try?

I love pole dancing - I find it very liberating and very fun. It was also very hard, so it's been one of the first things I've stuck with even though it's not easy (see answer #1!) It's definitely changed the way I view myself - learning to move my body a different way and seeing all shapes and sizes of women being sensual and strong.

This is my 3rd tattoo, and my only regret is that I didn't do it during Summer so I could show it off more! I think at some point I will get another one, but I'm not quite sure what yet. I've really come to appreciate that most people get tattoos as a way to memorialize something important to them.

I'm not sure what else I want to try. Maybe skydiving at some point. I think I'd really dig the freefall.

5. Who are your favorite people you’ve met from online interactions? Why? What are the aspects of online interactions you like the least? When thinking of people you really only know online, what will make you “like” vs. “dislike” someone?

Wow, that's a toughie. I adore Jer. He was one of the first people I met on the Foyer. We started our journey out of the church at the same time, and we've stayed good friends ever since. I think I probably talk to him more on IM than anybody else. We have the exact same taste in music and sense of humor.

I was also really excited to meet Wry and JMK in DC. They were just as funny and gracious in real life as on-line. I'm hoping for another meet up soon - I get quite jealous of the large DAMU crowds in SLC that can get together so often.

There are very few people from on-line that I "dislike". I don't really like attention whores (an occasional incident is okay but not a constant LOOK AT MY POSTS) and blatant trolls. I also don't like the mean girl phenomenon that tends to occur on all-female boards.

6. What one thing about your current life do you most love? And really dislike? If you had a magic wand that could grant you one wish that wasn’t to do with money, what would you ask for?

Right now I'm very happy with my immediately family. The kids are at a great age where they are so much fun and I'm just so in love with them both. ExV and I are also in a good place and are excited about the future. We just did a lot of work on the house and it looks great.

I dislike family drama. Right now it's in a lull, but it's always sort of simmering underneath. As much as I love the holidays, it always brings up issues. Scheduling conflicts and gift competition and such - sometimes it's my family, sometimes it's ExV's family.... I know there's no completely normal family but sometimes ours feel SO dysfunctional that it makes me sad.

I think if I could change one thing, I would tweak my job. On the whole, I like what I do. But I wish I could focus solely on doing wills and estates and get rid of the other stuff. I'd really love to be able to remove litigation completely from my job - I'm finding it very draining dealing with conflict on a regular basis.