Halloween Pics

Here's my cutie pies!! Marc was a fire ninja and Lisey was a cave girl jungle princess. This picture just captures their personalities so much... I crack up every time I look at it.

She's here!! She's here!!

My niece has arrived!! Cool Jen SIL had her baby yesterday evening. A beautiful baby girl whom I got to visit twice today. I am in love with her already - she is absolutely gorgeous. You did a great job Jen (and Andy, too, gets some credit for his small contribution).

I'd like to also raise a cheer to brave Jen who fulfilled her wish to have a completely unmedicated childbirth. It is not an easy thing to do and many people, including hospital people, tend to be very unsupportive and even downright mocking of the idea. I am so so so proud of her strength and her commitment to having the birth she wanted.

*wild thunderous applause for Jen*

Wry Interviews Me

I asked Wry Catcher to interview me - here's her questions!

1. What is the trait or personality aspect you’re most happy to have gotten from your mom/dad/family of origin? What one thing do you really wish you could get rid of?

I am most happy to have gotten my family's smarts. My parents were very big on education, not just school-wise, but cultural literacy too. History, music, art, literature, math, science... It was important to my parents that we grow up to be well rounded. I really do come from a family of nerds. We used to sit around and do logic problems for fun on vacation.

The one thing that come along with it, and that I have passed on to Marc (unfortunately) was a drive to succeed at everything. I would be devastated to get a B on any test, no matter how unimportant. I had to be the first one done an exam. I had to have the highest score on a paper. I wanted to be first chair in the band. I had to have the lead in the play. As I grew older, I found it difficult to try new things - if anything was a struggle and I wasn't the best at it, I'd just give up. I am making a very conscious effort to mediate that tendency in my son. I can see now that it is, at its root, hard-wired.

2. When you first started dating ExV, what kinds of reactions did you get? How did you feel about it then? What do you think about it all now?

When ExV and I started dating, he was 17 and still in high school. I was 21 and working in the office at the high school (different department, my office was just located in that building). The reactions were completely and totally disapproving. My friends thought he was too young and too much a slacker. I even had someone use the words, "not good enough for you at all". Plus he wasn't LDS, so church people didn't like him either.

His family and some of his friends thought I was too old, that he'd miss his whole youth because I was tying him down too young. Plus I was LDS, so I was trying to suck him into my cult.

I think even we, at the beginning, thought of it as a fling - something to bide time until I left for law school and he left for college. Then we ended up changing our schools so we could stay closer to each other. His mother tried to break us up many times. She was NOT happy when we got married "so young" - he was 21 and still had a year left of college.

Sometimes I think, wow, we WERE young. Especially Erik. I'd probably flip a little bit if my kids wanted to get married while still in college. But I'm glad we were naive enough not to know any better. I knew that Erik was nice. I knew that he was funny, and romantic, and loved kids and loved cats. That's why I wanted in my life. I knew he'd eventually get older but he'd always be a great guy. I didn't want to let him get away.

3. What are the top three reasons you’re glad your daughter and son won’t be raised mormon?

a. They will not be taught outdated one size fits all gender roles.

b. They will be raised with a healthy view of human sexuality and without irrational guilt over normal desires and urges.

c. They will learn to think for themselves and stand on their own feet without relying on geriatric man platitudes.

4. How does pole dancing (as a hobby not a job, LOL) make you feel? What has it changed about how you see yourself? Same for your tattoo? Will you get more? Is there anything else you still want to try?

I love pole dancing - I find it very liberating and very fun. It was also very hard, so it's been one of the first things I've stuck with even though it's not easy (see answer #1!) It's definitely changed the way I view myself - learning to move my body a different way and seeing all shapes and sizes of women being sensual and strong.

This is my 3rd tattoo, and my only regret is that I didn't do it during Summer so I could show it off more! I think at some point I will get another one, but I'm not quite sure what yet. I've really come to appreciate that most people get tattoos as a way to memorialize something important to them.

I'm not sure what else I want to try. Maybe skydiving at some point. I think I'd really dig the freefall.

5. Who are your favorite people you’ve met from online interactions? Why? What are the aspects of online interactions you like the least? When thinking of people you really only know online, what will make you “like” vs. “dislike” someone?

Wow, that's a toughie. I adore Jer. He was one of the first people I met on the Foyer. We started our journey out of the church at the same time, and we've stayed good friends ever since. I think I probably talk to him more on IM than anybody else. We have the exact same taste in music and sense of humor.

I was also really excited to meet Wry and JMK in DC. They were just as funny and gracious in real life as on-line. I'm hoping for another meet up soon - I get quite jealous of the large DAMU crowds in SLC that can get together so often.

There are very few people from on-line that I "dislike". I don't really like attention whores (an occasional incident is okay but not a constant LOOK AT MY POSTS) and blatant trolls. I also don't like the mean girl phenomenon that tends to occur on all-female boards.

6. What one thing about your current life do you most love? And really dislike? If you had a magic wand that could grant you one wish that wasn’t to do with money, what would you ask for?

Right now I'm very happy with my immediately family. The kids are at a great age where they are so much fun and I'm just so in love with them both. ExV and I are also in a good place and are excited about the future. We just did a lot of work on the house and it looks great.

I dislike family drama. Right now it's in a lull, but it's always sort of simmering underneath. As much as I love the holidays, it always brings up issues. Scheduling conflicts and gift competition and such - sometimes it's my family, sometimes it's ExV's family.... I know there's no completely normal family but sometimes ours feel SO dysfunctional that it makes me sad.

I think if I could change one thing, I would tweak my job. On the whole, I like what I do. But I wish I could focus solely on doing wills and estates and get rid of the other stuff. I'd really love to be able to remove litigation completely from my job - I'm finding it very draining dealing with conflict on a regular basis.

NYC... Here I come...

I did it!! This morning I officially hit my 15 lb weight loss mark. I was so excited I jumped up and down screaming right in the middle of the gym.

So here's the final statistics - lost 15 pounds, 1 inch from my thigh, 2 inches from my hips, 1.5 inches from my waist, one inch from my bust (but didn't lose anything from my cup size, yeeeaah!!) and 1/2 inch from my arm. I went from a size 10 or 12 (depends on brand) to a size 6 or 8.

Just to put it in perspective, I am now the weight on my driver's license...

which was issued when I turned 21.

Couple's Meme

1. Who eats more? Probably Erik. But not much more. We are still trying to be very good.

2. Who said "I love you" first? I can't remember. I think it was me, but it was nearly simultaneous.

3. Who is the morning person? Neither of us.

4. Who sings better? According to my kids, neither of us can sing at all.

5. Who’s older? I am, by almost 4 years.

6. Who’s smarter? I am more book smart, but Erik can figure out how to fix shit like a genius.

7. Whose temper is worse? Mine. Definitely mine. Erik's never broken a glass by throwing it in the sink but I have... many times.

8. Who does the laundry? Mostly me, but Erik helps if I ask him over and over again.

9. Who does the dishes? We switch - one week dishes, one week litter boxes.

10. Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? He does, until displaced by a child in the middle of the night.

11. Whose feet are bigger? His - he has ginormous feet.

12. Whose hair is longer? Mine.

13. Who’s better with the computer? He is. It's why I keep him around.

14. Do you have pets? Yes, three cats.

15. Who pays the bills? I do. I'm not sure Erik even knows what bills we have.

16. Who cooks dinner? Usually me, but depending on our schedules, Erik will help out.

17. Who drives when you are together? Erik, unless he's drunk. Then it's me.

18. Who pays when you go out to dinner? Our spending money comes out of Erik's account, so he does.

19. Who’s the most stubborn? Me.

20. Who is the first one to admit when they’re wrong? I'm never wrong, so this question is moot.

21. Whose family do you see more? It's probably about equal. Our parents both live very close and we try to spend time with each as often as possible.

22. Who named your pet(s)? Erik named Floyd and Anakin. The kids named Charlie.

23. Who kissed who first? I kissed him first, but he'd been nibbling on my ear so it's not like it was unprovoked.

24. Who asked who out? I can't remember. We went to the movies but it wasn't really a date until #23 happened.

25. Who named your children? Erik did, but I had veto power.

26. Who’s more sensitive? I cry more, but Erik has a soft side.

27. Who’s taller? Erik is by about an inch. When I wear heels, I am.

28. Who has more friends? Erik. I'm much more introverted so it is hard for me to make friends. I steal Erik's friends after he makes them.

29. Who has more siblings? I do. I have 3, and Erik has 2.

30. Who wears the pants in the relationship? Depends on the issue. Probaby me, just because Erik is more laid back about things so he just lets me do my thing.

Sigh.

I've been practicing law for nine years. I'd hoped to make it ten years but I missed...

Today, I got my first official letter from the Attorney Grievance Commission.

Fuck you very much, ungrateful former client. I'm so glad that I kept you out of jail so you could turn around and try to get me disbarred. Unfortunately for you, there is a transcript that shows you and your recollection of events is full of shit.

Hmmmm...

Am I a bad mom if I'm secretly hoping Marc is NOT feeling better tomorrow morning so I can take the day off work??

Circles and Triangles

Last night I went to my friend Josh's 30th birthday party. I am pretty open about things on my blog, but I've never talked about Josh and I am not sure I really ever will. There are still things in my past that I hold very deep inside, that are still painful to think about.

I also don't like to be coy on my blog, hinting at some amazing story then proclaiming, "Oh! I can't talk about it." So I will just summarize. Josh and I dated. Josh and Erik were friends. Josh and I broke up in a spectacularly painful way. Erik and I started dating. Erik and Josh were then no longer friends any more.

Then there is Mike. Mike dated my sister for many years. We were all friends. Mike was the best man at our wedding. He and my sister broke up (also in a spectacularly painful way) right before my wedding. Awkwardness abounded and eventually Mike and Erik were no longer friends any more either. At some point in all this drama, Mike and Josh were also no longer friends any more.

I had not talked to Josh in many many years when Erik & I saw him again at their high school reunion about two years ago. Josh had married his high school sweetheart and they were expecting their first child. I talked for a long time with his wife and we have emailed occasionally since then. About the same time, Erik reconnected with Mike through MySpace. They started hanging out again.

So Josh's 30th birthday party was yesterday night. His wife invited us, and also asked us if we knew how to contact Mike. It had been so many years, she said - it's time to make peace and find the old friends we've lost over stupid things that just don't seem so big any more.

It was so much fun. We met Mike and his girlfriend a little bit early and the four of us spent some time having a few drinks and catching up before meeting the rest of the party. There was no drama, no awkwardness. It was just so nice to see people that we knew and loved, but just got disconnected from along the way.

We ended up at the Hustler Club, because it just isn't a party without a trip to the strip club!! I had to take a moment and soak it in. There were Josh, Erik and Mike, watching their wives/girlfriends pass dollar bills to the strippers with their teeth. We were laughing and buying each other drinks and talking about how we all became adults somewhere along the way. We have mortgages and kids and careers. It's just crazy how much time has gone by.

Driving home, I was so glad that we went. Josh's wife was absolutely right - it really was time to let the past go. Damn, we had forgotten how much FUN we always had together. We can't wait to do it again soon.

Unintentional Picnic

Erik is out of town at a conference, so I had to leave work early to pick up Marc from school. I took him to pick up the best pizza in the world (as he calls My 3 Sons) and then we picked up Lisey from daycare.

We pulled into the garage and with my hands very full of pizza and backpacks, Marc informs me the door is locked. The door from the garage into the kitchen. The door that is never ever locked and to which I have NO KEY. Because why do I need a key? I have the garage door opener!!

I panicked. I freaked out. I almost cried. Then I thought - it's okay.... because I have pizza so we WILL NOT STARVE. I called Erik to ask where the spare key was. I had one made in the event of this exact situation. The spare key is hanging on the key rack - right inside the door that is locked. This doesn't help me and I am now mad at my husband for putting our spare key inside the fucking house. That is a quote, in case you were wondering.

I called my dad. He does have a spare key but he is eating dinner right that second with my mom and her cousin that is visiting from out of town. He can be here in about twenty minutes. That is okay with me.

So we ate our pizza sitting in the driveway. It was a pleasant afternoon and it really wasn't so bad. We were just finishing up as my parents arrived to rescue us. I immediately took the spare key and hid it outside in case this happens again.

Oh, and eventually Lisey fessed up to locking the door this morning - she was trying to keep out burglars.

Better Day

The doctor said I'd feel better within 24 hours and damn right, I feel better!! My nose is running which is a GOOD thing - my headache is greatly improved and I am starting to get my energy back.

Also, my son can now ride a two wheeler. Seriously, this is absolute proof that he is his father's child. Last time I rode a bike I shattered my radial head. This kid learned to ride a two wheeler in an afternoon. Clearly that is not my DNA working there.

Oh, and I was too busy being miserable yesterday to appreciate the great thing that happened at the doctor. My weight, fully clothed and in shoes, was just two pounds from my ultimate goal. Whooopa!!

Headache from Hell

I have had a headaches for over 3 days. It is awful. It started Saturday. I spent all afternoon in bed and had to miss our annual trip to the pumpkin patch and corn maze in Lancaster because I couldn't get my head off the pillow. I cried about missing it and sent text messages every ten minutes telling my kids I loved them and I was sorry.

It continued into Sunday. I couldn't do anything except curl up in a ball and close my eyes and try to sleep. I managed to get a few things done around the house but could only stay vertical for about 15 mins at a time before having to go back into the dark bedroom. I hate telling my kids to play quietly or mommy's head will explode. I hate it so much.

I actually felt better on Monday morning, but Monday afternoon it was back. I almost had Erik come get me at work because I wasn't sure I could drive home as the sun was setting. I dry heaved half the way home. I spent most of last night in tears. I went to bed at the same time as the kids because trying to stay awake was pretty much pointless.

Through all of this, I have been taking both of my migraine medications and they seem to be only half working. They'd work on the nausea and the light sensitivity. But they really didn't seem to be helping with the pain and last night I swore they seemed to be making it worse.

This morning I woke up feeling much better overall - but the headache is still there. Only it has settled into my face and I am coughing up huge wads of snot. Hey, guess what? Apparently as I was battling the migraine, I was also getting a sinus infection. Leave it to me to get two completely different headaches at once.

Autumn, I do love you but goddamn I hate your tag-a-long step-sister Ragweed.

Edited to add: I just got back from the doctor. She said, oooooh, that's baaaaad. Nasty sinus/ear infection. 10 days of horsepill antibiotics plus 6 days of steroids. Wheeeeeeeee.

Quest for NYC - The Home Stretch

The end is in sight. It is now Week 11 of the 14. I hit a bit of a plateau the past few weeks. I didn't lose any weight at all for 2 straight weeks. I was stuck. I was very discouraged by the numbers but gave myself the mental pep talk - weight can vary, focus on the inches lost, look at all the clothes that are now too big and go put on your new size 8 jeans that actually fit now...

Then last week between very busy plans and being sick I didn't make it to the gym. Today I wasn't feeling that great either but I hated to get out of the habit. So I made myself go. I did an easy work out - I dropped all my weights down by 5 lbs and only did 20 minutes on the treadmill. That was enough - I actually stopped a few minutes early because I started to feel a little dizzy and knew my body was telling me it was time to rest.

The good news is...!!! I must have worked through whatever plateau I hit because I was back down and on schedule. Only 3 pounds to go!! The most gratifying thing was this though - moving down the big block on the scale - the big 50 lb block that separates weighing 151 and 149.

I haven't been able to move down the big block since, um, I think it was back in law school. I don't think a ka-thunk ever sounded more lovely. Moving that little piece down down down down.... Oooooh, gotta move that big block down - ka-thunk!! Yessssss!

Lazy Sunday

Today is a lazy day. I've been fighting a cold for the past week or so. Friday it caught up with me. I couldn't take the day off and sleep because I had way too much to do.

Friday I had to take Marc to get his flu shot. While we were there, I had the pediatrician take a look at a weird rash in between Marc's toes. Turns out he has athlete's foot!! He didn't even squeak when he got his shot - such a brave kid, even watched the nurse give him the shot.

I dropped him back off at school and then had to go to court. At this point I was running a fever and felt like crap. I ended up settling both of my back to back cases, so I went back to the office and suffered through the next few hours. I didn't feel like cooking, so I picked up a pizza on the way home. Marc said it was the best pizza EVER. Yay, me.

After that, it was time for haircuts. I still felt awful but I went ahead and got my fall highlights done. When my hair grows out, it's shocking to me how much GREY is in my hair. I started going grey at 18, and I've consistently been covering it since then. Highlights seem to work the best - I only have to get them done every 4 months and it just makes the grey strands look intentional.

So Saturday I woke up feeling like death. Fever was higher and I just ached all over. Erik went to the gym and I stayed home and watched my DVR'd episodes of America's Top Model. Then I went to sleep. I slept all afternoon until it was time to go to dinner. We had plans to take my parents and Erik's dad to Kobe for dinner and I really really really didn't feel like going anywhere.

I went ahead and dragged my sorry ass out of bed. Dinner was okay. I wasn't very hungry. Lisey didn't like the big fire on the grill at the start of the dinner, and Marc didn't like the sauce on his chicken so he just wouldn't eat anything. I was too sick to be patient with them so had to work very hard at controlling my extreme annoyance with their behavior. I think our parents had a nice time though - it was our treat and they seemed surprised and grateful for that.

I had a hard time sleeping last night. Even though I was still so tired, I would fall asleep, then wake up sweating, throw off the covers, fall asleep, wake up shivering, bundle up, wake up sweating, repeat, repeat all night long.

This morning, Erik started on remodeling the kid's bathroom (heaven help us all, we're back down to one toilet and shower) and also had to tackle the yard - yes, leaves are starting to fall and since we live in the forest it's an every weekend thing to stay on top of them.

I finally figured out how to keep the kids occupied - Christmas shopping! I know it's only October and it violates every holiday rule I have personally imposed on myself, but I had a huge stack of catalogs - letting the kids go through them with sticky notes and pens kept them occupied for like two hours, during which I napped on the couch.

I also tried to get some stuff off the to do list: Dishwasher emptied, laundry done and folded, invitations to bridal shower for friend addressed, started Christmas lists (ugh, I'm so ashamed, I feel dirty writing that).

Gaaaaah - this post was pretty boring. I plead illness. I am trying to convince myself that I feel better now but it could just be that I'm really high on two different cold medicines that are interacting in strange and glorious ways. I think I understand why housewives get addicted to speed. I feel like shit, but yet all the laundry is done and I'm ready to cook dinner...

Adult teeth

Marc continues to amaze me. He told me his math homework was soooo boring, so we started doing very simple algebra to keep him interested. The other day I wrote this problem for him: x + 2 = 3, what is x? He immediately knew x=1. Good, but that was boring.

So I decided to really challenge him. I wrote this problem: x + 1 = y, y + 5 = 8, what are x and y? I let him sit for a few minutes and when I came back he had written "x + y = 4". It took ME a few minutes to realize that he was right and that when I asked him what "x and y" was, that meant x + y to him.

This week was his semiannual trip to the dentist. Early last month Marc had a 7-10 day run of a low grade fever. He was cranky, didn't feel right, didn't eat well, but I couldn't figure out what was wrong with him. He eventually started feeling better and the fever went away.

Well I learned at the dentist this was, in fact, because my six year old WAS TEETHING. Um, yeah, okay, nobody told me this happens to first graders.

So Marc now has his first permanent teeth - his upper molars erupted last month. His front bottom two teeth are loose as well. He was so thrilled to have adult teeth.

I took him to dinner at Boston Market that night and even though he has steadfastly maintained for many years that he HATES turkey, he decided to try some of mine. And he loved it - and ended up eating half of mine. He informed me that now he has ADULT teeth, so he can eat adult foods and they taste good.

Tonight my very picky eater had fish for dinner. Not even fish sticks - this was fresh bass that he caught the other day while fishing with Erik. And he ate green beans. He told me he wants to try broccoli next because that is an adult food and he'd probably like it now that he has adult teeth.

Here it is!!

I didn't post much last week. I was in a bit of a rut. Wasn't feeling well, overwhelmed at work, blah blah blah. But Monday night I finally got my tattoo!!! So of course I had to post. I apologize for the picture quality - our digital camera bit the dust so we had to use Erik's cellphone instead.


I love it! I am thrilled with how it turned out. It's still healing so the colors will improve over the next few weeks.